Co-sleeping, a failed account?

 I was so fortunate that prior to pregnancy I had learned about many safe sleeping practices, one of which was co-sleeping. In the end, we just decided we would “go with the flow,” and that crying out wasn’t an option.

I highly recommend that approach.

However, I really expected our co-sleeping story to be different than how it actually played out. I’ll go through our story and talk a little about why I think it worked for us.

Around the time my son was born, we were staying with our pastor and his wife (fun stuff like our new home not being ready on time necessitated that). At the same time, my husband’s mother and grandmother were in from Mexico.

It was a hard way to start out with a new baby. I was in an unfamiliar environment, with a slight pressure to perform. (Side note: I love my husband’s family, and the pressure didn’t come from them but from my own self-consciousness). My husband and I were sleeping is separate twin beds so I could recover from surgery and little man slept in a Pack N Play at my feet.

Not my ideal set-up to be sure, but necessary at the time.

Little man was swaddled for the first week, but after that we simply had light blankets covering him. We stopped swaddling because he started to hate it, probably as his startle reflex was calming down. He slept at naps and at night, which was unexpected.

By the end of his birth month, we had moved home. My husband’s family was still to be with us a few more days as we settled in. We put up our Arm’s Reach Co-sleeper with our King-sized bed.

Elias was still doing fine with our set-up of alone naps and nights until right before my husband’s family. He was starting to be more restless at night a bit irritable during the day. Where he had previously been a greater napper, sleeping three hours at a time, he was now cat-napping twenty minute sessions.

Finally, one night he literally refused to sleep. At 2am we had him in the car, trying to lull him done. He gave in but was up as soon as we were in the house. That night we pulled the swing into our room and let the rocking work its magic.

The next day I starting cutting dairy from my diet. I also held him for naps. He would nap without me holding him, but he napped much longer in my arms. At night, I started cuddling with him in our king size, using the Arm’s Reach as a table.

Later, I discovered Elizabeth Pantley’s No Cry Sleep Solution. I had heard of it, but at this point I finally bought it. I was desperate for something to help him sleep without me, but refused to try “crying it out.” We had seen a crying fit from him on the six hour drive from Washington D.C., and the pain and terror he was in was not going to “work.”

Pantley simply confirmed to me that all was actually ok with our sleeping situation. When he cat-napped, he wasn’t getting adequate sleep, making night times more difficult. I charted his sleeping habits and made my decision.

We’d keep going with the flow.

I started keeping track of his eating and naps (I kept a note pad on the armrest of the recliner) and continued to hold him for every nap, for the entire nap, until he was five and half months.

People thought I was crazy. I got nothing done during his naps.

Around five and a half months, we started trying the crib for naps only. I would rock him while he ate and then laid him down when he was fully asleep. At that point, being fully asleep was key; generally about ten minutes after he appeared to be “asleep,” he was ready to go down.

It worked. Within a few days, he was comfortable sleeping in the crib for naps. Night time was another story…