Rosemary Decoction

I’m taking an online herbal course for doulas and midwives through BirthArts.net. I decided the other day that for one of my assignments, I’d try a rosemary decoction for a hair rinse. I’m using rosemary because I’ve got fairly dark hair. I’m hoping for a few things from this – that it’ll strip some of that left-over “wash-out” color that’s there, and that it’ll help with the grease that seems to plague me this time of year. As I go more into the course, I’ll be sharing some of my other assignments that are specifically for the childbearing year.

I started out by going into my garden and gathering some rosemary. I needed four tablespoons worth of rosemary for the two cups of water I was going to use – two tablespoons for each cup. Here’s my rosemary. (The extra that I gathered went for chicken at dinner!)

I put a pot on with the water and measured out my rosemary. Once it was starting to boil, I turned it down to simmer. The rosemary needed to simmer for twenty minutes.

Here’s the rosemary after just a couple of minutes.

Here it is after about ten minutes.

(I did dishes while it simmered…little man was napping and I was taking all my opportunities to get stuff done!)

After it simmered, I strained off the rosemary and had just my decoction. I used this measuring cup because it was what was handy to run down the hall with to get a quick shower.

I didn’t let it cool very much, which I certainly will the next time. I usually take a shower in the evening, so next time I plan to make the decoction in the morning and let it sit.

For my shower, I decided it would do me no good to use my regular shampoo and conditioner with the rinse. I grabbed some of my son’s shampoo instead, which is the BEST stuff for little ones. We have used California Baby’s Sensitive shampoo and bodywash for him since he had a bad outbreak of eczema. He hasn’t had an issue since. (For the record, before we switched, we had used Burt’s Bees which is great, but has scents in it like everything else. The stuff from California Baby is totally unscented and awesome – and I have absolutely no affiliation with them)

After I used the shampoo, I rinsed with the rosemary decoction. I could have gotten by with just a cup, especially since my hair is currently really short (thank you bad hairdresser!). I let my hair dry naturally, because that’s what I always do.

This is a bad picture of my hair before the shower and rinse.

This is my hair as it was almost drying, before I did anything to it.

This is after quickly running a straightener through it. There’s no product in my hair. It’s the softest it has ever been. Awesome. I also fixed up my bangs a bit.

Recommended Reading for Pregnant Women

Nearly as soon as a woman is pregnant, she begins looking for books to help her fill-in-the-blanks between doctor appointments and ultrasounds. This is no easy task considering all the books that are out there. Here is a short list and review for some of the books I found most helpful, as well as some to avoid.

Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn by Simkin, Whalley, and Keppler.

This is one of the best books I read while I was pregnant. It's easy enough to read straight through it, but it's also a great reference book. Unlike many pregnancy books, it goes into the first few months of your newborn's life rather than ending at birth and the hospital stay.  My copy is full of highlights and marks.

The Birth Partner by Simkin

Amazing book. . It’s aimed specifically to birth partners (as though you couldn’t tell), but I found as an expecting mother it was very valuable for me as well. Good book to read through together and discuss. Also good to toss into the birth bag for reference as needed. It’s even designed for this with “tabs” on the pages so you can flip through and find what you need.

The Doula Book by Marshall Klaus, John Kennell, and Phyllis H. Klaus. - A great book to acquaint you with the idea of a trained labor companion. Doulas don’t replace partners; they support the whole family in birthing.

Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin - Sure she’s a bit of a hippie, but she knows birth. This book is full of birth stories to empower and encourage. It also discusses pregnancy, labor, and birthing in a way that makes you feel like a real, powerful, strong woman

The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth. By Henci Goer - A great book for women and partners on the edge with hospital interventions. Henci has thoroughly researched common procedures, outlining risks and benefits. She also gives alternatives and discusses how to talk to your care provider about these things.

The Nursing Mother’s Companion by Kathleen Huggins and The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers by Jack Newman and Teresa Pitman - Great references for the breastfeeding mother. If I had to pick one, I’d go with the first. It’s a simpler read (though both are very readable) and has easy to skim organization of topics.

The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood. By Katheleen A. Kendall-Tackett. - A must read during the postpartum period. This book helped me acknowledge my own post-partum depression and worries. Can be checked out from the library.

The Baby Book. By Sears. The Vaccine Book by Sears. - Though I haven’t read all of the Sears library, I’ve read these two. The Baby Book is huge and comprehensive, not something you can read through easily, but great to have around. The Vaccine Book is very balanced if you’re just curious about the whole debate. It’s an easy read as well.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution. By Elizabeth Pantley and William Sears. - As we are beginning to learn that the cry-it-out approach doesn’t work for all and may cause damage to those it seems to work for, here’s a great alterative. Teach your child how to fall asleep rather than to get so tired they have no other choice.

Books I suggest you avoid:

The What to Expect Series. While I’ve not read them, general consensus has it that these books tend to promote fear. You don’t need any added stress. If a complication occurs in your pregnancy, you can seek information as needed. Don’t scare yourself with all the what-ifs. There are better books out there.

What is my role as a doula and childbirth educator?

As a member of the childbirthing profession, I am a member of a number of listserves and email groups online. This week, one of the groups erupted with such a discussion that the current moderator stepped down and the group is going to have to re-form anew.

The topic: epidural kits and discussing epidurals in the classroom.

Some argued that having epidural kits “normalized” the idea of an epidural and made it easier for couples to get one. Others argued that without discussing epidurals, you are not actually providing informed consent. I take the second stance.

I have come to the conclusion in my own life that decisions that are best for me may not be best for others. Decisions that are good for me NOW may be different than decisions I made in the PAST or different from the decisions I may make in the FUTURE.

What does this have to do with childbirth education?

I do not think the focus of all childbirth education should be a natural birth at any cost. I don’t think we’re ready for it here in the U.S.

Please, don’t get me wrong. I think every woman that absolutely can do so, should have a natural childbirth. It’s good for her and for the baby.

But if we focus childbirth education as an all-or-nothing, we lose the women who may be on the fence. When we alienate women, we only hurt ourselves. (This, I think, is a failure of the feminist movement. But that’s a whole ‘nuther ballgame).

There are plenty of women out there who think that they cannot possibly cope with the pain and other distresses of childbirth. These women need to be empowered, not made to feel that they are less of a woman if they have an epidural in their birth. If they are empowered with information, maybe next time they have a natural birth in the hospital (as difficult as that may be). Then maybe they have a homebirth.

The woman who grows as a result of all her childbearing decisions will be the biggest advocate for natural birth. This is especially true among her close friends and her DAUGHTERS.

I have been trying to think about it that way as I formulate my classes. I want to support women in whatever birth they choose, even if it’s not the birth I would have.

“You had an epidural? How did you feel about that?”

“Stadol? That helped you get through?”
 

“You did everything you could to breastfeed this one? What do you think about breastfeeding the next one?”

Women are nasty enough to each other as it is. Don’t let that come over into the curriculum realm…

A lot of times, I think, we as childbirth educators and doulas forget that this is not our birth. Two wise women on another list this week talked about this concept in a great way.

From Polly Perez - 

The Difference in Feeling Responsible TO and FOR

When you feel responsible TO others....

• You show empathy, encourage, share, confront, level, are sensitive, listen.
• You feel relaxed, free, aware, high self-esteem.
• You are concerned with relating person to person, feelings, and the person.
• You are helper/guide.
• You expect the person to be responsible for themselves and their actions.
• You trust and let go.

When you feel responsible FOR others....

• You fix, rescue, control, carry their feelings, don’t listen.
• You feel tired, anxious, fearful, liable.
• You are concerned with the solution, answers, circumstances, being right, details.
• You are a manipulator.
• You expect the person to live up to your expectations.

There is such freedom in that! (This kind of freedom is why I got out of teaching public school. I’m not wholly responsible for this kid’s A or F. His parents and he are responsible as well.)

My job as a doula or childbirth educator is to inform. As a doula, I consider this to be very secondary unless the couple also hires me as an educator. I can’t make anyone want to learn and find out and question. If you’re not satisfied with every single thing your care provider suggests, I can point you in the right direction and show you where to find information for your truly informed consent. But I can’t make you read it. And I can’t make you ACCEPT it. As a childbirth educator, I can present that information to you, but again, I can’t make you ACCEPT it.

We need to keep informed choice at just that – CHOICE.

As a side note, but very related to the idea of choice, here’s an article about the availability of midwives and how it changes maternity care for the better. Note – it doesn’t say choosing a midwife, but just that the choice is available. I think all women with normal pregnancies should be seen by midwives, but again, we’re not there yet…How I hope we are soon!

Access to Midwifery Care Improves Outcomes

Birth in America - affecting the whole family

I believe the pervading culture of medical birthing in America has directly attacked families. As childbearing has been increasingly hospitalized and medically controlled, families have become smaller and smaller. Breastfeeding has decreased. Many couples are even choosing to have no children at all.
 

Why, as a culture, would we ever accept someone else dictating how big or small our family should be?
 

This is, in effect, what has happened with America today. Of course, my OB has never directly said to me, “You should only have two kids. Maybe three if the next is also a boy and you want to try for a girl.” But in his advocating a cesarean section for a first-time mother with a frank breech baby could easily dictate my family size.
 

How can this be?
 

Think about it this way. What if I were a regular birth consumer, one who takes her care providers advice at face value without probing? What if I then find out my OB doesn’t support VBACs, or he finds a way to “risk me out” of one? After a second cesarean section, my recuperation is probably more difficult – I have another child to deal with the second time. Breastfeeding is also more difficult, and the first section had complicated matters enough that I hadn’t continued breastfeeding the first. Maybe, as a regular consumer, I don’t even try the second time. I may do formula again, driving up our personal living costs, and taxes – we receive WIC vouchers. Even if I do pull through and breastfeed, think of the unnecessary stress and hardship a second cesarean, probably not done for any reason other than a previous cesarean, would put me through.
 

Why would I ever put myself through this again for even one more child?
 

As a culture, we need to realize that many times birth is traumatic and unnecessarily so. Women who have a traumatic vaginal birth for their first child are much more likely to request an elective cesarean for their next birth. If traumatic birth seems to be the only option, why voluntarily go through it again? The United States has some of the highest rates of permanent “birth control” in the world. Obviously, plenty of women are deciding it’s not worth it.
And I think the mode of birth can (though of course not always) have a direct impact on childREARing.
 

Again, think about it – we know that women who have traumatic births are at substantially higher risk for post-partum depression than women who are satisfied with their birth. Though women who have emergency cesareans may come to accept it or say it was for the best, I truly doubt you could say those women ever come to the point of feeling satisfied about that mode of birthing. Traumatic vaginal births fit in here as well. A woman may decide her nightmare of an induction was “medically necessary,” but it will never feel her with happiness.
 

And, women who have post-partum depression and/or traumatic birth are at higher risk for abusing their children. I’m not in any way attempting to justify child-abuse in any situation; we need to acknowledge these facts.
 

I believe that it doesn’t have to go as far as that even to affect the family. You can think of it like a continuum. Even if a woman doesn’t get to that point of actual physical abuse (or emotional abuse) or even to the point of post-partum depression, that dissatisfaction with the birth can subconsciously effect the way you raise your children.
 

As more and more births took place in the hospital, more and more women chose to enter the public workforce. Women go back to work for a variety of reasons, including both financial necessity and needing a “break” from the kids. At the same time women really begin entering the public workforce you see communities like The Farm with Ina May Gaskin where women chose to work within the family to provide extra income. While there is much more to that phenomenon than birthing, we can’t forget that birth certainly must play a role in it.
 

Birthing is not something you can just forget about and get over.
 

It’s coincidence that if you tell a woman you’re pregnant that you will hear every detail of her birth and pregnancy. This is the way it should be. Pregnancy and birth are life changing events every single time they take place.
 

Unfortunately, it seems that most of these details are negative. These negatives are by no means a small portion of the birthing population. It’s not that the few women who have bad experiences are the only ones speaking up. The vast majority of women seem to have negatives associated with their birth and pregnancy – scares in pregnancy, misdiagnosis, traumatic births, repeat cesareans.
 

Now you may say that families are smaller and more women working outside the home because of the advent of birth control. However, birth control methods have been around for thousands of years. Women knew and understood their fertility, when they were possibly fertile and when they weren’t, and they used herbs and timing to enhance or even suppress their fertility. Women in some cultures even used herbal preparations to bring on permanent sterility.
 

We also acknowledge that more children meant more workers for farming. We forget that more children also meant more mouths to feed, more bodies to clothe, more girls to provide dowries for, more boys to find apprenticeships in an already struggling household.
 

And families were still large.
 

I believe that if we fix the birthing environment in America, women and families will feel freer to have more than just “one of each.” There will be plenty of families who will still desire only one or two or three or even none and feel complete as a unit, but those families who desire more will feel free to have as many as they desire.
 

Children are a joy and a blessing. Feel free to complete your family.

For further reading - I have heard very good things about the following book. I'll admit that I haven't read it; I started it and got too emotional. It hit too close to home.

Weight Gain in Pregnancy...How much is enough?

American women are probably some of the worst regarding obsession with weight, and it’s unlikely that this obsession will diminish any time soon.
 

But this obsession among pregnant women needs to stop. Now.
 

I’m amazed at this phenomenon among pregnant women, particularly among women who otherwise are focused on having a healthy pregnancy. We scrutinize ourselves religiously – “Am I putting on too much weight?” though we never ask if we’re not putting on enough… We brag that we haven’t gained any weight by week ‘x’ in our pregnancy. Our friends even join in – “I would be sooo happy if I were as small as you are at ‘x’ week in pregnancy!”
 

Excuse me?
 

Maybe we’ve forgotten the facts. Or maybe we haven’t heard them.
 

For the woman of average weight/BMI pre-pregnancy, an increase of 25-35 pounds is considered normal. 25 pounds is the absolute minimum for the average woman. Underweight women should gain even more. Personally, I think these values are a bit conservative.
 

Let’s look at where this weight comes from. At 40 weeks, you should be looking at the following increases:

1. Baby  - 7 to 8.5 pounds (at least!)
2. Placenta – 2 to 2.5 pounds
3. Amniotic fluid – 2 pounds
4. Increase in the uterus – 2 pounds
5. Breast increase – 1 to 4 pounds (we forget that our breasts are not fully developed at puberty. They don’t fully develop until lactation.)
6. Blood volume increase – 4 to 5 pounds
7. Tissue fluid – 3 to 5 pounds (a little swelling is supposed to happen!)
8. Fat stores for breastfeeding – 4 to 6 pounds

I think fat stores of only 6 pounds are too low if you’re breastfeeding. For me, personally, it would not have been adequate. I put on 50 pounds while pregnant (yes, 50, just so you know it’s not a misprint), and would have lost every bit and more if we had continued breastfeeding.
 

As it were, I lost 31 pounds the first month postpartum. I had a very high supply and a healthy, hungry baby. If I were average weight pre-pregnancy, had put on only 25-35 pounds, and lost like that postpartum, I would have plummeted into the underweight category and put myself (and my son as long as I was breastfeeding) at health risks. It’s not worth it to look skinny.
 

In all my research, I have found little to no evidence in order to be concerned with weight gain above the guidelines of 25-35 pounds (apart from gestational diabetes) as long as you eat well. If pregnant women eat healthy – fruits, veggies, whole grains, lean protein, good fats and oils – they will gain the amount they are meant to gain. Our bodies, in the vast majority of cases, know what to do.
 

Inadequate weight gain increases the risk of preterm birth and small-for-gestational age infants. Maternal and fetal risks increase in these cases. Having a small baby does not equate easy birth. Smaller babies may have more trouble feeding, even bottle feeding, and a harder time sleeping well and keeping adequate body temperature. Is it worth it to be skinny a few months later?
 

Even if total weight gain is adequate at the end of pregnancy, inadequate gains during either half can increase your risks. Inadequate gains in the first half of pregnancy can increase your chance of a small-for-gestational age baby; inadequate gains in the second half can increase your risk of preterm birth.
 

So eat! Eat well! Eat only when you’re hungry and eat nutrient rich foods. Your weight gain in pregnancy is meant to provide for your little one both now and later.
 

It’s supposed to be this way.

A couple of notes:

1. Of course, I’m not advocating that you eat whatever you want, as much as you want, whenever you want. Obesity and excessive weight gain during pregnancy present their own sets of risks. However, I’m a firm believer in the theory that if you eat well, you’ll gain what your body is meant to gain.
2. The facts in this entry are taken from ready the following nursing textbook. This blog is factually based and any opinions present are based directly on my knowledge of current research and personal experience. The source is – Maternity and Women’s Health Care. By Lowdermilk and Perry

Servant Heart

Everyone questions their ability from time to time. I’ve been doing it a bit more often since last weekend’s Homebirth Meetup.

It’s easy to be intimidated. Many of these women are much more experience in birthing and breastfeeding than I am. Even the ones who may just be getting started at least have personal experience to lean on.

Now, I’m confident in my skills. I’m confident of my learn-while-doing abilities. I’ve been fortunate to acquire plenty of book knowledge and am just waiting to try it out.
 

But I have other experience that others don’t have. I’ve spent my life in the servant role.
 

My younger brother has severe autism and mental impairment. He now has 24-7 in-home care, but there were definitely some long hours when he and I lived at home. You do what you have to do so his needs are taken care of.
 

I’m a mother. We could, of course, leave it at that. When I think of the mother role, I often think back to a scene that happened a few months ago. We were at our friends’ home, having dinner, when an unexpected guest showed up. “I’m starved! I haven’t eaten all day!” And he sat down to devour some dinner with us. I turned to my husband and whispered, “what so special about that? I can’t tell you how many days I’ve had to do that with our son. It happens.”
 

But, of course, guys don’t deal with that kind of sacrifice as often or as naturally as women seem to do.
 

Women deal with those kinds of things all the time, whether we’re mothers or not. We’re the ones pitching in to take care of siblings, watching church nursery, working extra so our partners can go back to school, putting off our own dreams for whoever else needs them.
 

Those of us who find that this lifestyle comes easily often find ourselves in servant roles – teachers, nurses, caregivers, stay-at-home moms. I spent years, before becoming a stay-at-home mom, teaching middle and high-school students the finer points of English language and literature.
 

And I can’t discount those experiences. In many ways, they are just as valuable as personal birth experience.
I already know how to serve. I know to provide as much comfort as possible. I know I can’t take it personally when the person I’m serving rejects something I try – I just try something else. I can keep my cool through hours of crying. I’ve had students throw-up in front of me (while I was pregnant no less). I’ve changed countless adult diapers. I can put off my own bodily functions for an amazing amount of time. I know my limits, when I need take a well-timed bathroom break to breath, regroup, and keep going.
 

I can do this…