Birth in America - affecting the whole family

I believe the pervading culture of medical birthing in America has directly attacked families. As childbearing has been increasingly hospitalized and medically controlled, families have become smaller and smaller. Breastfeeding has decreased. Many couples are even choosing to have no children at all.
 

Why, as a culture, would we ever accept someone else dictating how big or small our family should be?
 

This is, in effect, what has happened with America today. Of course, my OB has never directly said to me, “You should only have two kids. Maybe three if the next is also a boy and you want to try for a girl.” But in his advocating a cesarean section for a first-time mother with a frank breech baby could easily dictate my family size.
 

How can this be?
 

Think about it this way. What if I were a regular birth consumer, one who takes her care providers advice at face value without probing? What if I then find out my OB doesn’t support VBACs, or he finds a way to “risk me out” of one? After a second cesarean section, my recuperation is probably more difficult – I have another child to deal with the second time. Breastfeeding is also more difficult, and the first section had complicated matters enough that I hadn’t continued breastfeeding the first. Maybe, as a regular consumer, I don’t even try the second time. I may do formula again, driving up our personal living costs, and taxes – we receive WIC vouchers. Even if I do pull through and breastfeed, think of the unnecessary stress and hardship a second cesarean, probably not done for any reason other than a previous cesarean, would put me through.
 

Why would I ever put myself through this again for even one more child?
 

As a culture, we need to realize that many times birth is traumatic and unnecessarily so. Women who have a traumatic vaginal birth for their first child are much more likely to request an elective cesarean for their next birth. If traumatic birth seems to be the only option, why voluntarily go through it again? The United States has some of the highest rates of permanent “birth control” in the world. Obviously, plenty of women are deciding it’s not worth it.
And I think the mode of birth can (though of course not always) have a direct impact on childREARing.
 

Again, think about it – we know that women who have traumatic births are at substantially higher risk for post-partum depression than women who are satisfied with their birth. Though women who have emergency cesareans may come to accept it or say it was for the best, I truly doubt you could say those women ever come to the point of feeling satisfied about that mode of birthing. Traumatic vaginal births fit in here as well. A woman may decide her nightmare of an induction was “medically necessary,” but it will never feel her with happiness.
 

And, women who have post-partum depression and/or traumatic birth are at higher risk for abusing their children. I’m not in any way attempting to justify child-abuse in any situation; we need to acknowledge these facts.
 

I believe that it doesn’t have to go as far as that even to affect the family. You can think of it like a continuum. Even if a woman doesn’t get to that point of actual physical abuse (or emotional abuse) or even to the point of post-partum depression, that dissatisfaction with the birth can subconsciously effect the way you raise your children.
 

As more and more births took place in the hospital, more and more women chose to enter the public workforce. Women go back to work for a variety of reasons, including both financial necessity and needing a “break” from the kids. At the same time women really begin entering the public workforce you see communities like The Farm with Ina May Gaskin where women chose to work within the family to provide extra income. While there is much more to that phenomenon than birthing, we can’t forget that birth certainly must play a role in it.
 

Birthing is not something you can just forget about and get over.
 

It’s coincidence that if you tell a woman you’re pregnant that you will hear every detail of her birth and pregnancy. This is the way it should be. Pregnancy and birth are life changing events every single time they take place.
 

Unfortunately, it seems that most of these details are negative. These negatives are by no means a small portion of the birthing population. It’s not that the few women who have bad experiences are the only ones speaking up. The vast majority of women seem to have negatives associated with their birth and pregnancy – scares in pregnancy, misdiagnosis, traumatic births, repeat cesareans.
 

Now you may say that families are smaller and more women working outside the home because of the advent of birth control. However, birth control methods have been around for thousands of years. Women knew and understood their fertility, when they were possibly fertile and when they weren’t, and they used herbs and timing to enhance or even suppress their fertility. Women in some cultures even used herbal preparations to bring on permanent sterility.
 

We also acknowledge that more children meant more workers for farming. We forget that more children also meant more mouths to feed, more bodies to clothe, more girls to provide dowries for, more boys to find apprenticeships in an already struggling household.
 

And families were still large.
 

I believe that if we fix the birthing environment in America, women and families will feel freer to have more than just “one of each.” There will be plenty of families who will still desire only one or two or three or even none and feel complete as a unit, but those families who desire more will feel free to have as many as they desire.
 

Children are a joy and a blessing. Feel free to complete your family.

For further reading - I have heard very good things about the following book. I'll admit that I haven't read it; I started it and got too emotional. It hit too close to home.