I was afraid of my doctor while I was pregnant.
Let me clarify. I don’t have white-coat hypertension where I get nervous at doctors’ offices. I didn’t (and don’t) believe that my OB was incompetent or that he didn’t have good intentions. I was just always afraid that what he as an OB, a trained surgeon, wanted for my birth was different from what I wanted.
We all want a healthy baby. No one who wants natural birth goes in saying that natural vaginal birth is more important than a healthy baby. Our friends and family who say “the most important thing is a healthy baby” seem to forget that sometimes.
I believe that there is (most of the time) more than one way to “just a healthy baby.” As a culture, it seems like we’ve gotten into this all or nothing approach with birth. You can have “just a healthy baby” in any manner it takes. Or you can risk it all for that natural vaginal birth.
This “don’t you just want a healthy baby” thing had gotten me really scared of my doctor. I was afraid that in his effort to just get me from point A, healthy pregnant lady, to point B, mommy with a healthy baby, he was going to use methods I didn’t agree with.
To this day, I have no idea how things would have turned out had I been going for a vaginal birth there at the end. (reminder – breech baby = me scheduled c-section)
I wish that I had taken more time at the beginning to shop around with providers and saved myself that trouble.
I wish that as I continued to be afraid of his “doctorness” that I had looked for someone I was more comfortable with.
I wish I hadn’t let that fear of unknown limit me to an OB.
I played it safe. Since my hematologist, family practitioner, and OB admitted that they didn’t know how I would do pregnant post-stroke, I took their guidance and was on a low dose of Lovenox (a blood thinner) throughout pregnancy. Now that I’ve done my research a bit more, I’ve found there’s no research to back this practice up. It doesn’t mean it’s the wrong approach, but it also doesn’t mean it’s the right approach. Taking the route that seems safest doesn’t always turn out that way.
At the very least, I should have looked around in pregnancy to find out all my options. Would there have been a practitioner willing to closely monitor my blood? Would there have been a practitioner who had a client with a similar history; what was her course of care? Would there have been a midwife willing to take me, even just prenatally?
Even with all that I thought I knew, I made the grand mistake of limiting myself to what I felt was the easy way.
I’m not saying in the least the OB’s are bad. That they are incapable. I’m not even saying that my choice to be with that particular OB was the wrong one.
I’m saying that unfortunately, I’ll never know for that pregnancy because I didn’t explore my options.
Don’t limit yourself to a practitioner based on any of these things:
• They seemed nice at the first prenatal
• They deliver at the hospital/birth center I like
• They work with midwives/OBs so they must be good
• They have good office staff
• They’re available on my due date
• Etc etc etc!
Don’t compromise! Don’t limit yourself to the first or second or whatever practitioner you come across just because you feel they are “good enough.” Yes, you can always change later. But once you’re with a provider, it’s easy to convince yourself that it’s just too hard to switch even if you’re not satisfied. Make the switch if necessary, but try to get the right provider the first time.
It’s worth your piece of mind to have the practitioner you feel most comfortable with.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Why do doctors even use due dates?
Probably the most common method of calculating a due date is to use the “last menstrual period” or LMP. Once a woman finds out she is pregnant, an OB or midwife simply asks when the first day of her previous period was. This becomes day 1 of the pregnancy; day 240 is her estimated due date or EDD. (Of course, they have handy wheel for this calculation.)
The biggest problem with using the LMP is the wide variance of cycle norms for women. LMP due date calculation depends absolutely entirely on every woman having a 28-day cycle and ovulating on day 14 of that cycle, without fail, every single cycle of her life.
Please, stop laughing. They do this.
Yes, there are many doctors and midwives who very much believe this method is accurate, or at least simple. It’s certainly a convenient method and it has an air of mathematical certainty.
Unfortunately for them (and us), very few women fit into this category of 28 day cyclers. There are women who seem to have short cycles – less than 28 days. Chances are that these women also ovulate earlier in their cycle, throwing off LMP due date calculation for them. There are women, like myself, who have long cycles and ovulate later than day 14. Personally, I average about 35 days per cycle, and usually ovulate somewhere around day 21. (Side note – if you want to learn about an FDA approved aid to conception that will help you learn your personal cycle norms, check out the fertility awareness method – not to be confused with the rhythm method.)
Then of course there are those of us who have no earthy idea when our LMP was. Maybe we have irregular cycles – 28 days then 45 then 24 then… Maybe we were breastfeeding or otherwise newly postpartum and our usual “regularity” hadn’t yet returned. For those of us with no idea, there is the ultrasound method of determining EDD.
When the doctor asked me my LMP, I told him I didn’t know. Actually it was October 30 (I know because I had one of the worst periods of my life and took two days off work sick as a dog, unable to get out of bed longer than the time it took to clean up every few hours.) I had been using the fertility awareness method and not only did I know my LMP, but I also knew our conception date – the only possible one within a week before my estimated ovulation date. All other “baby-dancing” days were well outside the possibility of fertility. Calculating my EDD based on what I knew about my cycle, I arrived at August 12.
Of course, my OB didn’t know any of this. He didn’t believe charting had any value. When I told him that I didn’t my LMP, he simply scheduled a dating ultrasound early first trimester. Dating ultrasounds require that an ultrasound technician measure different parts of the baby and compare those to established growth charts. Throughout pregnancy, these measurements can vary by at little as millimeters; you can guess how important it is that your ultrasound tech be a really good one.
Our early ultrasound measured my son to be due August 15, a due date that wasn’t humanly possible with the conception date we had. But a later due date is always better than an early one.
Some OBs don’t stop at that early ultrasound or LMP for determining EDD. They continue to change the EDD throughout the pregnancy based on further ultrasounds (and sometimes fundal height, but that’s a whole ‘nother ball game).
Ladies (and gents!), don’t let this happen to you! It is error and is not based on science in the least to continue to change the EDD.
Ultrasound dating, as I have mentioned, depends on technician skill as well as these growth charts. What we tend to forget is that 50% on a growth chart does not mean normal or perfect. It simply means that your child is larger than 49/50% of children, and smaller than 49/50%. 80% means you have a larger than average child, but not necessarily than anything is wrong, just as 30% or even 10% simply means you have a petite child. (The worry stems from not staying around your percentile as you age or suddenly increasing or decreasing as you age.)
At 32 weeks gestation, my son measured around 4 lbs 2 oz, or 80% and up on the growth chart. However, the ultrasound equipment registered this not at 80% for 32 weeks, but at 34 weeks gestation.
Fortunately, my OB didn’t change my EDD based on this late pregnancy ultrasound. I know women who have been in this situation though and did have their EDD changed. Their OBs didn’t account for the possibility their child would be larger (or smaller) than average.
Having a due date change can be a serious problem. Normal pregnancy, as by ACOG definition, can last from 38-42 weeks. Yes 42 weeks. However, in practice, due dates are set in the middle of this range at 40 weeks. You can still have a normal pregnancy and go past your “due date”; OBs’ own organization admits this.
Most women though aren’t “allowed” to do go past their EDD. Once they begin to approach their EDD, even if this was moved from a later estimate, the induction talk may begin. Women are more often than ever finding themselves against going into labor on their own before 40 weeks or facing induction at 40 weeks. (The number of inductions in the US has doubled since 1992.)
My suggestion: A due month (and arguing with your doctor if necessary). I plan on using the due month with my next pregnancy. The due month is a simple concept (I didn’t come up with it and I’m not sure who did). It’s based on that ACOG definition of normal pregnancy – 38 to 42 weeks. A four week period – your due month. For my son, my due date was August 12. I should have just said that he was coming “sometime in August.”
Believe me, using this method, even just with family and friends, is beneficial. Towards the end of a pregnancy, well-meaning family and friends begin to ask how long the doctor is going to “let you go.” As the EDD approaches, the questions change. “Isn’t he going to induce you?” “What’s happening? Is something wrong?”
Save yourself a wee-bit of anxiety (as much as possible at least) and give them just a ball-park, a taste.
“Oh, Junior? He’s coming when he’s ready, sometime end of April or mid-May. No worries.”
The biggest problem with using the LMP is the wide variance of cycle norms for women. LMP due date calculation depends absolutely entirely on every woman having a 28-day cycle and ovulating on day 14 of that cycle, without fail, every single cycle of her life.
Please, stop laughing. They do this.
Yes, there are many doctors and midwives who very much believe this method is accurate, or at least simple. It’s certainly a convenient method and it has an air of mathematical certainty.
Unfortunately for them (and us), very few women fit into this category of 28 day cyclers. There are women who seem to have short cycles – less than 28 days. Chances are that these women also ovulate earlier in their cycle, throwing off LMP due date calculation for them. There are women, like myself, who have long cycles and ovulate later than day 14. Personally, I average about 35 days per cycle, and usually ovulate somewhere around day 21. (Side note – if you want to learn about an FDA approved aid to conception that will help you learn your personal cycle norms, check out the fertility awareness method – not to be confused with the rhythm method.)
Then of course there are those of us who have no earthy idea when our LMP was. Maybe we have irregular cycles – 28 days then 45 then 24 then… Maybe we were breastfeeding or otherwise newly postpartum and our usual “regularity” hadn’t yet returned. For those of us with no idea, there is the ultrasound method of determining EDD.
When the doctor asked me my LMP, I told him I didn’t know. Actually it was October 30 (I know because I had one of the worst periods of my life and took two days off work sick as a dog, unable to get out of bed longer than the time it took to clean up every few hours.) I had been using the fertility awareness method and not only did I know my LMP, but I also knew our conception date – the only possible one within a week before my estimated ovulation date. All other “baby-dancing” days were well outside the possibility of fertility. Calculating my EDD based on what I knew about my cycle, I arrived at August 12.
Of course, my OB didn’t know any of this. He didn’t believe charting had any value. When I told him that I didn’t my LMP, he simply scheduled a dating ultrasound early first trimester. Dating ultrasounds require that an ultrasound technician measure different parts of the baby and compare those to established growth charts. Throughout pregnancy, these measurements can vary by at little as millimeters; you can guess how important it is that your ultrasound tech be a really good one.
Our early ultrasound measured my son to be due August 15, a due date that wasn’t humanly possible with the conception date we had. But a later due date is always better than an early one.
Some OBs don’t stop at that early ultrasound or LMP for determining EDD. They continue to change the EDD throughout the pregnancy based on further ultrasounds (and sometimes fundal height, but that’s a whole ‘nother ball game).
Ladies (and gents!), don’t let this happen to you! It is error and is not based on science in the least to continue to change the EDD.
Ultrasound dating, as I have mentioned, depends on technician skill as well as these growth charts. What we tend to forget is that 50% on a growth chart does not mean normal or perfect. It simply means that your child is larger than 49/50% of children, and smaller than 49/50%. 80% means you have a larger than average child, but not necessarily than anything is wrong, just as 30% or even 10% simply means you have a petite child. (The worry stems from not staying around your percentile as you age or suddenly increasing or decreasing as you age.)
At 32 weeks gestation, my son measured around 4 lbs 2 oz, or 80% and up on the growth chart. However, the ultrasound equipment registered this not at 80% for 32 weeks, but at 34 weeks gestation.
Fortunately, my OB didn’t change my EDD based on this late pregnancy ultrasound. I know women who have been in this situation though and did have their EDD changed. Their OBs didn’t account for the possibility their child would be larger (or smaller) than average.
Having a due date change can be a serious problem. Normal pregnancy, as by ACOG definition, can last from 38-42 weeks. Yes 42 weeks. However, in practice, due dates are set in the middle of this range at 40 weeks. You can still have a normal pregnancy and go past your “due date”; OBs’ own organization admits this.
Most women though aren’t “allowed” to do go past their EDD. Once they begin to approach their EDD, even if this was moved from a later estimate, the induction talk may begin. Women are more often than ever finding themselves against going into labor on their own before 40 weeks or facing induction at 40 weeks. (The number of inductions in the US has doubled since 1992.)
My suggestion: A due month (and arguing with your doctor if necessary). I plan on using the due month with my next pregnancy. The due month is a simple concept (I didn’t come up with it and I’m not sure who did). It’s based on that ACOG definition of normal pregnancy – 38 to 42 weeks. A four week period – your due month. For my son, my due date was August 12. I should have just said that he was coming “sometime in August.”
Believe me, using this method, even just with family and friends, is beneficial. Towards the end of a pregnancy, well-meaning family and friends begin to ask how long the doctor is going to “let you go.” As the EDD approaches, the questions change. “Isn’t he going to induce you?” “What’s happening? Is something wrong?”
Save yourself a wee-bit of anxiety (as much as possible at least) and give them just a ball-park, a taste.
“Oh, Junior? He’s coming when he’s ready, sometime end of April or mid-May. No worries.”
Friday, June 11, 2010
Our changing bodies...doula perspective on pregnancy bodies
Today, I may have the opportunity to maternity shop with a friend, K, for another friend’s pregnancy – friend J. It got me thinking about the changes my body went through pregnant, and about all the different perspectives on those changes.
I miss pregnancy. I felt so beautiful while I was pregnant. I loved every kick that kept me up or made my ribs sore, every run to the bathroom to pee – again, every stare as I waddled through the summer.
Of course, those stares were hard to deal with at first. I was huge by the end of my pregnancy – I’m 5’2” and weighed nearly 200 pounds on August 10, the date of our cesarean. I had put on 50 pounds during the course of the pregnancy, almost all of it after 20 weeks. I was quite a sight those last few weeks.
Even in early pregnancy, I got big quickly. For reference, this is me at the end of college.
I was probably 10 pounds heavier than this at the time I got pregnant – not skinny, but not too overweight either.
This is me at about 12 weeks pregnant. This first picture is trying to suck in, the second is relaxed.
By this point I was entirely in maternity pants, past the point of doing the hair-tie trick with the button of my jeans, and could still fit into a few of my looser t-shirts. All my work clothes were maternity and I was in sweaters trying to hide it from my students a little longer.
Now, many women don’t show at all until after 20 weeks. Either way is normal and beautiful.
This is me a few days after our anatomy ultrasound at 19 weeks.
Obviously there was no hiding it at this point. My students had found out three weeks prior to this picture that I was expecting.
By May as I was just entering the third trimester, I looked like this.
I know many women who don’t look this big at the end of their pregnancy. Very normal. By the end of May, this is how I sat at the doctor’s office:
It was the most comfortable by the time I was this big.
At the end of July when I was about 36 weeks, this was me:
Thanks to elle effect for these gorgeous bump pictures! I was stretched to the max and loving every minute. I specifically asked Lauren, our photographer, to not edit out my stretch marks. I earned those.
Finally, this was me a few days before the cesarean at 39/40 weeks.
I was huge and finally starting to feel it.
I think a lot of it has to do with your personal build and your husband/partner’s build. My husband is 6’5” and solidly built. I knew I would have big babies and was very comfortable with my body’s ability to deal with that. But being on 5’2” myself, this meant my baby had nowhere else to go but out almost immediately. In fact, in late pregnancy when he was breech, he got stuck under a rib. That rib is still out of place. Just a fact of life that my body is more compact.
I hope seeing these pictures can reassure those women who find themselves in my position in life – a small woman carrying a big baby with nowhere to go but out! You are beautiful darling!
Believe it, live it, and you’ll feel it.
I miss pregnancy. I felt so beautiful while I was pregnant. I loved every kick that kept me up or made my ribs sore, every run to the bathroom to pee – again, every stare as I waddled through the summer.
Of course, those stares were hard to deal with at first. I was huge by the end of my pregnancy – I’m 5’2” and weighed nearly 200 pounds on August 10, the date of our cesarean. I had put on 50 pounds during the course of the pregnancy, almost all of it after 20 weeks. I was quite a sight those last few weeks.
Even in early pregnancy, I got big quickly. For reference, this is me at the end of college.
I was probably 10 pounds heavier than this at the time I got pregnant – not skinny, but not too overweight either.
This is me at about 12 weeks pregnant. This first picture is trying to suck in, the second is relaxed.
By this point I was entirely in maternity pants, past the point of doing the hair-tie trick with the button of my jeans, and could still fit into a few of my looser t-shirts. All my work clothes were maternity and I was in sweaters trying to hide it from my students a little longer.
Now, many women don’t show at all until after 20 weeks. Either way is normal and beautiful.
This is me a few days after our anatomy ultrasound at 19 weeks.
Obviously there was no hiding it at this point. My students had found out three weeks prior to this picture that I was expecting.By May as I was just entering the third trimester, I looked like this.
I know many women who don’t look this big at the end of their pregnancy. Very normal. By the end of May, this is how I sat at the doctor’s office:
It was the most comfortable by the time I was this big.At the end of July when I was about 36 weeks, this was me:
Thanks to elle effect for these gorgeous bump pictures! I was stretched to the max and loving every minute. I specifically asked Lauren, our photographer, to not edit out my stretch marks. I earned those.Finally, this was me a few days before the cesarean at 39/40 weeks.
I was huge and finally starting to feel it.I think a lot of it has to do with your personal build and your husband/partner’s build. My husband is 6’5” and solidly built. I knew I would have big babies and was very comfortable with my body’s ability to deal with that. But being on 5’2” myself, this meant my baby had nowhere else to go but out almost immediately. In fact, in late pregnancy when he was breech, he got stuck under a rib. That rib is still out of place. Just a fact of life that my body is more compact.
I hope seeing these pictures can reassure those women who find themselves in my position in life – a small woman carrying a big baby with nowhere to go but out! You are beautiful darling!
Believe it, live it, and you’ll feel it.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Book Review: When You Were Inside Mommy
Usually book reviews on blogs are for newer books, but when I came across this one, I felt all moms needed this for their children. My son is participating in the Kanawha County Public Library’s summer reading program and this is one of the books we read this week.
This book is very simple and straight-forward. It has lovely illustrations of a young family with their new son.
But the best thing about this book is the way it’s written. It’s from the point of view of the child’s mother. My favorite thing is that it uses the correct terms for pregnancy. The child is told that he grew inside mommy’s uterus or womb. He was fed and got air from his umbilical cord. Simple really, except when my seventh graders last year didn’t know there was such thing as an umbilical cord.
The book talks about how Mommy and Daddy waited and waited until “the muscles of her womb started squeezing.” Then they knew this was the time. How beautiful that this baby was worth waiting for!
The baby is born in a hospital (my own complain, but it is true of most births so I’ll give her that), coming out of “a special opening in her body that can stretch wide.” Love this!
I think this book is a must for basic pregnancy education for any child; we plan on buying my little man a copy.
I believe it’s never to early to start talking to your kids about pregnancy and childbirth. Remember this is a normal part of life and treat it as such. It’s nothing to hide or tell kids that you’ll “tell them when they’re older.” Start now and they’ll understand it’s all normal and beautiful, not scary or dirty.
If you’re in the Kanawha County library system, you can check the book out there. I got mine at the Cross Lanes branch, but you can always request it!
However, I just think you should buy it – here: Amazon.com - When You Were Inside Mommy
Just as a note – I have no connection with this book. I just felt that all women should know about this book.
This book is very simple and straight-forward. It has lovely illustrations of a young family with their new son.
But the best thing about this book is the way it’s written. It’s from the point of view of the child’s mother. My favorite thing is that it uses the correct terms for pregnancy. The child is told that he grew inside mommy’s uterus or womb. He was fed and got air from his umbilical cord. Simple really, except when my seventh graders last year didn’t know there was such thing as an umbilical cord.
The book talks about how Mommy and Daddy waited and waited until “the muscles of her womb started squeezing.” Then they knew this was the time. How beautiful that this baby was worth waiting for!
The baby is born in a hospital (my own complain, but it is true of most births so I’ll give her that), coming out of “a special opening in her body that can stretch wide.” Love this!
I think this book is a must for basic pregnancy education for any child; we plan on buying my little man a copy.
I believe it’s never to early to start talking to your kids about pregnancy and childbirth. Remember this is a normal part of life and treat it as such. It’s nothing to hide or tell kids that you’ll “tell them when they’re older.” Start now and they’ll understand it’s all normal and beautiful, not scary or dirty.
If you’re in the Kanawha County library system, you can check the book out there. I got mine at the Cross Lanes branch, but you can always request it!
However, I just think you should buy it – here: Amazon.com - When You Were Inside Mommy
Just as a note – I have no connection with this book. I just felt that all women should know about this book.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Certifying Organizations for Labor Doula - A Dilemma
Had a good conversation with a dear friend the other night about certifying as a doula and childbirth educator. I’ve been putting off certification primarily due to monetary issues – we just can’t afford to put me in a program right now.
But I’ve also put off certification because I’ve had trouble deciding which organization to go with.
Initially, when we could afford it, I was going to certify through DONA. The closest course was in Toledo, so I was going to drive the six or so hours, in February. Before I signed up and paid my down payment, I found I was pregnant. Driving to Toledo in February while pregnant is simply a bad idea.
While I was pregnant, I discovered CAPPA and liked that organization pretty well. CAPPA also seemed to offer trainings a big closer to home, so I began to concentrate my planning in that direction.
Then I stumbled across Childbirth International, which is still my favorite organization for a variety of reasons. Overall, I think their program is very thorough; it’s been described as a mini-midwifery course. I like it that the course is entirely distance based and offers a variety of payment plans. I appreciate that I’m not required to become a member of any organization or maintain that membership in order to keep my certification. Once I’m certified, that’s it – doula for life.
My only problem – Childbirth International is just not nearly as well know as some of the other organizations – think DONA and CAPPA.
So, back to the conversation with my friend, a midwife who practiced in our area before it was time for a family move. I trust her judgment in the birthing business. We talked about area midwives for me down the road when my husband and I are ready for another and the conversation of course turned to me becoming a doula.
“K---, I’m going to just go ahead and put my services out there as a doula and childbirth educator. I feel I’m ready even though I’m not yet certified. But I do want to be certified on down the road. Who do I go with?”
Almost before the question was out of my mouth, her reply – “DONA.”
She had good reason – if my aim for certification is so that I have more client recognition, then I should certify with the most well know organization. Otherwise, why certify? I’ve done so much self-study, and have personal experience, that I don’t need certification in order to get the basics needed to begin attending and providing my services at births.
(I do, just to be clear, feel that all doulas should keep learning and studying, even after certification. A good doula is always adding to her knowledge.)
My friend agreed that Childbirth International has a great program, but that the problem of being less well-known is a factor to be considered.
So I guess I’m back to where I started – DONA. Spent part of the morning downloading the certification information to read through. (Also downloaded the information for ICEA’s childbirth educator and to become a board certified lactation consultant. Aim big.)
Now if we can just get the money together, I’ll be content to drive to Charlotte or Cleveland or D.C. I just want to help women as they’re birthing babies!
BTW: What do you all think? I’m content with DONA’s program, but really like what I’ve seen of Childbirth International. Do I go with recognition anyway?
But I’ve also put off certification because I’ve had trouble deciding which organization to go with.
Initially, when we could afford it, I was going to certify through DONA. The closest course was in Toledo, so I was going to drive the six or so hours, in February. Before I signed up and paid my down payment, I found I was pregnant. Driving to Toledo in February while pregnant is simply a bad idea.
While I was pregnant, I discovered CAPPA and liked that organization pretty well. CAPPA also seemed to offer trainings a big closer to home, so I began to concentrate my planning in that direction.
Then I stumbled across Childbirth International, which is still my favorite organization for a variety of reasons. Overall, I think their program is very thorough; it’s been described as a mini-midwifery course. I like it that the course is entirely distance based and offers a variety of payment plans. I appreciate that I’m not required to become a member of any organization or maintain that membership in order to keep my certification. Once I’m certified, that’s it – doula for life.
My only problem – Childbirth International is just not nearly as well know as some of the other organizations – think DONA and CAPPA.
So, back to the conversation with my friend, a midwife who practiced in our area before it was time for a family move. I trust her judgment in the birthing business. We talked about area midwives for me down the road when my husband and I are ready for another and the conversation of course turned to me becoming a doula.
“K---, I’m going to just go ahead and put my services out there as a doula and childbirth educator. I feel I’m ready even though I’m not yet certified. But I do want to be certified on down the road. Who do I go with?”
Almost before the question was out of my mouth, her reply – “DONA.”
She had good reason – if my aim for certification is so that I have more client recognition, then I should certify with the most well know organization. Otherwise, why certify? I’ve done so much self-study, and have personal experience, that I don’t need certification in order to get the basics needed to begin attending and providing my services at births.
(I do, just to be clear, feel that all doulas should keep learning and studying, even after certification. A good doula is always adding to her knowledge.)
My friend agreed that Childbirth International has a great program, but that the problem of being less well-known is a factor to be considered.
So I guess I’m back to where I started – DONA. Spent part of the morning downloading the certification information to read through. (Also downloaded the information for ICEA’s childbirth educator and to become a board certified lactation consultant. Aim big.)
Now if we can just get the money together, I’ll be content to drive to Charlotte or Cleveland or D.C. I just want to help women as they’re birthing babies!
BTW: What do you all think? I’m content with DONA’s program, but really like what I’ve seen of Childbirth International. Do I go with recognition anyway?
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
The Power of Suggestion in Birthing
Does anyone else believe in the power of suggestion?
Not necessarily hypnosis (that’s a whole ‘nother post…), but simple words uttered without a care that get stuck in your brain and circle around and around until you find yourself thinking them as well. I certainly had this with my son.
I knew before I got pregnant that I would have a big baby. My husband is 6 foot 5 inches and solidly built. Me – I’m only 5 foot 2 inches – we won’t talk about my build. I had no worries about having a big baby. I firmly believe that my body (and others’ bodies) will only grow a baby it is able to birth. I believed this before I got pregnant, I believed it during my pregnancy, I believe it now.
So what happened?
I always had a fear of C-sections. A fear that I would have one, not because I wasn’t strong enough or woman enough for a vaginal or anything like that, but that something would happen beyond my control that would force me into a C-section. I did what I could during pregnancy to avoid a C-section: eating well, educating myself, birth plans, planning to wait to go to the hospital, etc. At my anatomy ultrasound, I looked at my chart (as I carried it to check-out. It’s my chart and I have a right to know what they don’t think I’m smart enough to understand), and I found that I had an anterior placenta and that my son was breech. At nineteen/twenty weeks, I had no worry about the breech issue; he had plenty of time to turn. The anterior placenta worried me slightly – what if we needed to do an external version?
I think here that too much education got the best of me.
I’m not saying this would happen to everyone, that you should avoid being educated or anything like that. However, I know myself. I let things get worked in, and worked in well, until they burrow into my soul and consume my thoughts before I fall asleep or when I first wake up.
I’m not sorry that I knew these things. I’m sorry that I let them get the best of me.
By thirty weeks, I could tell he had settled into position. I was huge, but I felt great, and I could feel his outline through my belly. He was going to be big.
At thirty-two weeks, I consented to a growth ultrasound. Due to my clotting history, I was at higher risk for IUGR (inter-uterine growth restriction), but I knew I was not having a small baby. I wanted to peek to see if he was still breech – hey thirty-two weeks is plenty of time – and to ease any worries my doctor might have had.
He was still breech. I was devastated. I thought for sure he was head-down, that what I was feeling on the left side of my rib cage pushing that lowest rib was his bony little butt or knees or something, anything other than his head. It was his head. He was frank breech.
I threw myself into getting him to turn. I drank orange juice and put my butt in the air. I rocked on my hands and knees, over a birthing ball. I played music down low – he kicked the speakers. I swam. I walked. I had chiropractic massage and the Webster technique three times a week, nearly passing out each time due to the weight of my uterus pressing down as I lay on my back.
All the while, I was constantly things from others. “He’s too big to turn.” “C-sections aren’t that bad. Why are you so worried?” “My cousin’s friend’s mom’s sister’s baby was breech. He stayed that way.”
At thirty-seven weeks, he was still breech. We scheduled an external version – against my doctor’s advice. I was given a 10-15% chance of success – first time mom, low to average fluid, and anterior placenta. It didn’t work.
He was stubborn. I have that lowest left rib out of place and a nasty C-section scar to prove it.
I think that truly I let that first breech reading and those words get the best of me.
Yes, it’s certainly possible that he would have been breech anyway. I honestly feel he was meant to be breech. Maybe he needed that position for whatever reason. Maybe I needed that experience to better serve doula and childbirth education clients.
But I still feel I let it get the best of me. There at the end, I felt totally resigned to having a C-section. I knew in the back of my mind that he still had a chance to turn, even during labor, but I schedule a C-section anyway. I knew that I had a chance of a vaginal breech birth with a different care provider, but I didn’t even bother to look around. I scheduled that C-section, two days before my due date.
“He was just too big to turn,” I told myself. “He got too big too soon. If only I had seen it earlier.”
But that’s probably just a lie that I told myself. So what if he was big. There are other big babies, bigger than mine, that don’t get stuck breech. Breech babies that do turn during labor, if given the chance. Breech babies born vaginally.
Next time, I aim to counter those suggestions more often. Practice my hypnosis (again, whole ‘nother post!) more vigilantly, talk out those suggestions, surround myself with more natural birthers, change practitioners, whatever I need to do.
I need to protect the suggestions that get in so the only ones that circle and circle my brain this time are the ones that say, “I trust birth.” “Birth is a natural and safe experience, for me and my baby.”
Not necessarily hypnosis (that’s a whole ‘nother post…), but simple words uttered without a care that get stuck in your brain and circle around and around until you find yourself thinking them as well. I certainly had this with my son.
I knew before I got pregnant that I would have a big baby. My husband is 6 foot 5 inches and solidly built. Me – I’m only 5 foot 2 inches – we won’t talk about my build. I had no worries about having a big baby. I firmly believe that my body (and others’ bodies) will only grow a baby it is able to birth. I believed this before I got pregnant, I believed it during my pregnancy, I believe it now.
So what happened?
I always had a fear of C-sections. A fear that I would have one, not because I wasn’t strong enough or woman enough for a vaginal or anything like that, but that something would happen beyond my control that would force me into a C-section. I did what I could during pregnancy to avoid a C-section: eating well, educating myself, birth plans, planning to wait to go to the hospital, etc. At my anatomy ultrasound, I looked at my chart (as I carried it to check-out. It’s my chart and I have a right to know what they don’t think I’m smart enough to understand), and I found that I had an anterior placenta and that my son was breech. At nineteen/twenty weeks, I had no worry about the breech issue; he had plenty of time to turn. The anterior placenta worried me slightly – what if we needed to do an external version?
I think here that too much education got the best of me.
I’m not saying this would happen to everyone, that you should avoid being educated or anything like that. However, I know myself. I let things get worked in, and worked in well, until they burrow into my soul and consume my thoughts before I fall asleep or when I first wake up.
I’m not sorry that I knew these things. I’m sorry that I let them get the best of me.
By thirty weeks, I could tell he had settled into position. I was huge, but I felt great, and I could feel his outline through my belly. He was going to be big.
At thirty-two weeks, I consented to a growth ultrasound. Due to my clotting history, I was at higher risk for IUGR (inter-uterine growth restriction), but I knew I was not having a small baby. I wanted to peek to see if he was still breech – hey thirty-two weeks is plenty of time – and to ease any worries my doctor might have had.
He was still breech. I was devastated. I thought for sure he was head-down, that what I was feeling on the left side of my rib cage pushing that lowest rib was his bony little butt or knees or something, anything other than his head. It was his head. He was frank breech.
I threw myself into getting him to turn. I drank orange juice and put my butt in the air. I rocked on my hands and knees, over a birthing ball. I played music down low – he kicked the speakers. I swam. I walked. I had chiropractic massage and the Webster technique three times a week, nearly passing out each time due to the weight of my uterus pressing down as I lay on my back.
All the while, I was constantly things from others. “He’s too big to turn.” “C-sections aren’t that bad. Why are you so worried?” “My cousin’s friend’s mom’s sister’s baby was breech. He stayed that way.”
At thirty-seven weeks, he was still breech. We scheduled an external version – against my doctor’s advice. I was given a 10-15% chance of success – first time mom, low to average fluid, and anterior placenta. It didn’t work.
He was stubborn. I have that lowest left rib out of place and a nasty C-section scar to prove it.
I think that truly I let that first breech reading and those words get the best of me.
Yes, it’s certainly possible that he would have been breech anyway. I honestly feel he was meant to be breech. Maybe he needed that position for whatever reason. Maybe I needed that experience to better serve doula and childbirth education clients.
But I still feel I let it get the best of me. There at the end, I felt totally resigned to having a C-section. I knew in the back of my mind that he still had a chance to turn, even during labor, but I schedule a C-section anyway. I knew that I had a chance of a vaginal breech birth with a different care provider, but I didn’t even bother to look around. I scheduled that C-section, two days before my due date.
“He was just too big to turn,” I told myself. “He got too big too soon. If only I had seen it earlier.”
But that’s probably just a lie that I told myself. So what if he was big. There are other big babies, bigger than mine, that don’t get stuck breech. Breech babies that do turn during labor, if given the chance. Breech babies born vaginally.
Next time, I aim to counter those suggestions more often. Practice my hypnosis (again, whole ‘nother post!) more vigilantly, talk out those suggestions, surround myself with more natural birthers, change practitioners, whatever I need to do.
I need to protect the suggestions that get in so the only ones that circle and circle my brain this time are the ones that say, “I trust birth.” “Birth is a natural and safe experience, for me and my baby.”
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