Thoughts on the birth battle

Recently I have been becoming more and more disgusted watching the arguments in the birthing world. I'm sad part of me is less "green" about it all, because I certainly like the hopeful, optimistic me. 

Part of this stems from my entering nursing school (well almost - I'll know by April if I'm accepted) in an effort to continue down my path to helping birthing women while trying to support my family. I feel like a spy in my classes with nursing majors, like I'm trying to figure out how the brain works to so blindly trust the medical model at the expense of common sense, mamas, babies, and families.

My conclusion: In many ways we're all guilty of the same blindness.

Both sides of the birth war use the same methods of guilt and anger, the same self-righteous attitude. 

Before I get hate mail, let me be clear that I am certainly on the homebirth, breastfeeding, unassisted if you want it side. 

But we're not free from the negatives - the failure to see some options as appealing to others even we will feel they're dangerous (so hard!). And to be honest, I don't know what we do about it - if anything.

It is absolutely true that we often make women feel guilty for not breastfeeding.

Mothers should feel guilty about not breastfeeding - just as they should feel guilty about giving a child a Coca-cola and a donut instead of milk and a banana.

But how do we prevent that guilt from turning into defensive rationalization and inability/refusal to change? How do we communicate with love, empathy, and understanding?

I think we have to start with these assumptions - we do not know all the reasons a mother may choose to do "X" and she is not at the same place we are.

The second assumption, to me, is the hardest and the most important. We can talk until we're blue in the face about the risks of not breastfeeding (which as a note is proven more effective than presenting it as the benefits of breastfeeding - study) but without long-term cultural change we are not going to get there with everyone.

I hate this.

The idealist in me wishes I could help everyone, save every mama and baby from a bad birth, but I can't. No one can. We can try our damnedest and then we just have to hope. Things may not change now, but down the road these seeds may sprout and bloom. We just have to keep planting and watering and weeding.